Tags
@TheosTrek, Atoms, guest post, Humor, Kate Shrewsday, Parenthood, Post-a-Day 2011 Challenge, Questions from children, Worms
Once again, I am allowing myself to be outdone by another of my favorite bloggers! Yesterday, Sandra Bell Kirchman, tomorrow, Nancy Hatch, and today - Kate Shrewsday! I cannot thank all three of you enough (
), and today, Ms. Shrewsday – world-famous and superbly gifted, thought-provoking and entertaining author, the blessed-to-be-a-daughter of John and June, the Mom of the even more famous Maddie and Felix. Along with her Hubs, they are all owned by a feisty, notoriously malodorous dog named Macaulay, and an elderly imperious kitty named Kit-Kat! So, join with me now in reading the delicious tidbit Kate has written for all of us to enjoy:
THE ATOMIC WORM
Paula’s e-mail plopped chirpily into my mailbox at 5:39am.
She purports to be distracted but I can hear from a distance of thousands of miles that she’s organising her op and its logistics like a military operation.
\So: Sandra’s doing Friday, but Paula has asked Nancy and I to take the weekend shift. Erk. How does one follow PTC? The woman has an inimitable style all her own!
While my husband parked a cup of tea I mulled it over. How to guest for Paula, how to guest for Paula….
Having riffled through the possibilities and briefly considered a post waxing lyrical about pets, I put the whole thing on hold. Because my material hadn’t even woken up yet, and they never let me down.
It was at the breakfast table that Felix, my eight-year-old son, came out with it. Something which would put a smile on Paula’s face.
“Mum”, I heard him say, “How many atoms are there in a worm?”
Do you ever have that thing when your brain screeches to a halt like an Italian Job mini hitting a dead-end?
Packed lunch, cricket kit, swimming kit, all the thoughts and paraphernalia of a day in the Summer holidays: all went blank.
How many atoms in a worm, indeed?
In this day and age, we parents should not have to feel omnipotent and all-knowing. Last time I checked, I was not God. But I will own that the question intrigued me.
The result being that my brain diverted all its circuits to the most interesting thing happening, and all practicalities were nothing to me.
First step: consult the oracle. In our establishment this is my ten-year-old daughter, Maddie.
Open questions usually do the trick here. “Well now”, I said, modelling wisdom worthy of CS Lewis, “Maddie knows a bit about this. We know that there are….”
Maddie finished, “Oh yes, I know this….a hair’s width is about one million atoms.”
“Yes”, I confirmed, in an ‘I-knew-that-all-the-time’ manner. “Now how can we use that to help us?”
Baffled silence.
I rallied: “Well: if you took lots of hairs and bundled them together, might you get to the thickness of a worm?”
Felix’s face cleared. “Oh, yes!….Lets see… how many hairs would it take…..50?”
A bit more, I thought. There followed some wild estimates, and the truth is, short of cutting my hair off and trying it out, I have no idea. We settled on 200.
So, we calculated that a worm would have a girth of 200 million atoms.
It occurred to me at that point that the worm might need to diet. 200 million is a lot.
The ‘how long is the worm’ question took some thought, too. We plumped for a short fat one of some 5 cm.
And then, just before we embarked on ‘how many hair widths is that, then, my son said: “Mum, why are we talking about worms?”
I faltered. “Because you asked, dear?” I ventured.
“No I didn’t”, he grinned. “I asked how many atoms in the WORLD!”
Suddenly, making the packed lunches seemed an incredibly attractive option.
We decided to leave that problem until much, much later.
Get well soon, PTC.
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How could a Post-a-Day blogger ask for more? Surely with guest bloggers like Kate, Sandra, and Nancy, and Gentle Readers like all of you – I have been blessed with an abundance of enough. . .
Loved it! worms to world,,not a lotta difference.
Well done Kate you done Paula proud gal!
get well Paula I am waiting……
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Bwahaha . . . from atoms to worms to hair to the all encompassing world and vast universe beyond! No wonder your tea grew cold and lunch kits didn’t get packed.
Those lunches proved a very welcome diversion as time went on, Nancy
Love this. You mentioned that the last time you checked, you aren’t God. Well, once I got elevated to that Divine status. As a pastor in the last 10 years before I retired I wore a white robe. Once I was in my robe sitting on the steps of the chancel giving the children’s sermon. A little boy sitting next to me tugged on my robe wanting to ask a question. In a stage whisper, he said “God”. I waited for him to say something about God. Instead he tugged on my sleeve again and said a little louder “GO-OD!”, so that everyone heard. I wish I could remember his question and how I let him down gently explaining that I am not God,( not even close). He seemed confused. Not long afterward I didn’t wear my robe during that Summer and he said to his Mom, “That’s not God”. After the service he asked me, “God, where is your dress?” I did sit down and had a little talk with him that time to be sure he understood that I am not God, that we can’t see God, God is everywhere, and in our hearts. From the look on his face, I’m not sure he was convinced that I wasn’t God.
Paula’s Hubs
Hi, Ashley, what a wonderful tale…I wonder if that little boy will remember that in years to come….
If we’re all made “in the image of God”, then in a way, aren’t we a reflection of God?
I’m sorry Paula can’t blog but I wouldn’t have missed this post for the worm. Hilarious!
Let that be a worming to you, Tilly
Another hilarious one Kate. Thank you.
Paula, hope you are soon up and writing with the best of ‘em.
Kate’s Dad, John
Hi, Dad
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A hilarious post, but also a bit freaky to me, you will see why in my post tomorrow.
I’ll look forward to that, Cindy! See you at yours!
Your daughter’s deductive logic is amazing! Your hearing is a bit off but that’ what kids will do to you. Great job. Very funny.
Thanks Dannie
It pays to hear selectively with kids, doesn’t it?
Okay, Kate, you have reduced me to a giggling puddle of laughter. This is the most priceless family anecdote I have heard in a long time. What a talent you have!
Ready to start jogging around the block yet, Paula? *hug*
The slightly unsettling thing is, this stuff happens every day in our household, Sandra….anecdotes are never far away….
Thanks for those lovely words.
Lets hope the worm gives Paula a giggle.