(Source: rtf123)
(wc 251)
(For the Trifecta Writing Challenge, week 19))
Clean (WTF?)
Blue pencil unsharpened,
unused. Unprepared, unneeded
for the unsuitably perverse
in prose or verse.
Years gone by, gone the days -
blue-tinged wood-shavings
would cover the floor
beneath the desk, where lies
this blue pencil, unsharpened,
unused, unprepared, unneeded.
Listen, my children: there used to be
days, when blue bought blue
by the score. Enough to cover,
strike out, remove
all unclean, unsuitable, unnecessary
for unsuspecting readers – for those
who might be unprepared
for such unsuitable
perverse, unclean prose
and verse.
Once dirty, now spotless,
clean. There is nothing
that cannot be written, nothing
that cannot be read.
Out of the mouth,
Onto the page, no blue-pencil
middleman, now collecting dust
instead of the unsuitable, perverse
in prose or verse.
What we have always been,
we have now become
in prose or verse -
(once unsuitably perverse) -
clean and profane, a paradox
unedited, unexpurgated,
once imagined, now proclaimed.
We are for all intents
(and purposes) no longer needy.
A quaint antique blue pencil
ready for anything describing
nothing, participles dangle
in fear of rescue.
Once unacceptable, such
unsuitable prose or verse
is now acceptable, perverse.
No editing required
all writing inspired, clean;
no shoes, no shirt? No service
or editing required. Blue pencil
unsharpened, unused,
unprepared, unneeded;
awaiting the dirty, when
all is clean.
********************
Even though I can ignore with alacrity, I am tired of the endless glut of uncreative language, and unimaginative prose. Quite frankly, my dear Gentle Readers, I have had enough. . .
I’m not sure what I enjoyed more — the post (which was excellent) or the comments below it! There’s a lot to think on from reading both. Thanks for linking up and hope to see you over the weekend.
Thanks, and I’ll be there! I agree – the comments have been wonderful!
I like your poem (definitely not a Bad Poetry entry) and completely agree with the message. For me, I generally write ‘clean’ because profanity doesn’t come natural to me. If it feels forced, then it’s not right. Also, if I wouldn’t be proud to have my parents or my children read it (or speak it), then I shouldn’t write it.
Of course this doesn’t mean that I don’t have verbal slips. I do. But that’s the great thing about writing…we don’t have a blue pencil available when we speak, but we do when we write. We should use it. (Like on this comment…I bet it could be trimmed to 40 words and get the point across.) Which gets to my last thought – as great as the internet is (and social media, if you use it) it does nothing to help the cause of editing because it spills from your head and is “out there” with one click of the button.
You are right. It is one of my problems that I tend to write “stream of consciousness” style – out of mind, through fingers, to keyboard, onto screen – with no blue pencil in between. Or rarely, anyway. However, I am like you in that that sort of speech is not my norm. It does give power to the words when I use them, though!
I have no problem with profanity in books or movies, as long as it is pertinent. The constant stream of 4-letter words and other dreck without any sort of contextual relationship is something that I abhor, though. Glad you like the piece – thank you for the comment!
I’m rather glad to be shet of the blue pencillers myself. I like the dirt right there on the page.
I don’t know about that, JQ! Unless it really serves to further the story, I just don’t like it. If it’s supposed to “shock me,” then it is far too late. It only serves to disgust me, and make me wonder if the writers have any sort of decent vocabulary!
Heh. I am frequently complememnted for my creativity and vocabulary.
And also the president of my daughter’s PA just bought me a copy of “Go the F to sleep” because it made her think of me. Because I swear alll the time. Note – I don’t do it to offend on purpose. If I know it bugs somebody, I hold back around them. Unless they insult my kids, in which case the gloves come off fast. My poor mother won’t read my novel because the first page is absolutely riddled with swears. She hates it. Considers it crude and a sign of a failure to communicate. So I’m aware of that perspective. I just disagree with it
I absolutely respect that choice. No problem here. I would never eliminate that option. After all I will always have the choice to read it or not. Just like movies or TV. There is always the off button. I always wonder why people make huge nation-wide or international protests over some objectionable (in their eyes) book or movie. If they just ignored it it would go away a lot faster! And because they make such a big deal about it, a lot of people are going to see or read it who might not have otherwise! The whole censorship thing is a very prickly issue. I wish people would quit censoring their own good sense, because it certainly seems like they either do that or abandon it altogether!
p
Exactly! Those who do it for shock value get bored quick if they get no response. The people like me? We’re rare. My perspective is quite unique!!
I went back and read it again … and then again. So magical.
My favorite lines:
there used to be
days, when blue bought blue
by the score.
There’s something about the rhythm of those words…. I wish I wrote them.
hands down one of the nicest comments I’ve ever received! Thank you so much! I frequently read your posts and wish I had written what you write!
Thanks so much!
*nods* ITA! Most of the time, it’s just extraneous and has no obvious reason and totally detracts instead of enhances.
Ain’t it the truth? So often writing gets so clogged with junk it needs a good plunger – or a blue-penciled plumber!
Honestly, this blew me away. And when I got to your short paragraph at the end, it made the verse seem more like a manifesto.
Really enjoyed the back and forth in your comments too.
Just to be clear, you would excuse profanity when it is used to further the story, as opposed to it being used for “shock value” or to cover bad writing?
Absolutely! I have no objection to characterizations that include profane language. I just don’t believe that that sort of language is always necessary to further a story or to delineate a character, except when used judiciously and thoughtfully. It can be very important in a story, as pornography can be – but it must be contextually “correct.” Glad you liked this!
Yes, yes. I don’t have a problem with profanity, when used in the right context at the right time, by the right people (ie not out of the mouths of babes). But when it is in excess, it is just not necessary. BTW, I also wrote a piece on obscene language, but it does contain “a bad word.” In my case, it was meant to be funny, shocking, as well as prove a point. I liked your poem very much. I loved the easy going flow, simplicity, and repetition. But the point comes across very powerfully!
There are a few bad words that i will use on occasion, too Sandra. But the fact that I seldom use them means they carry more impact, and don’t just become part of the annoying background static. I wrote a piece about the way I was raised vis-a-vis language an profanity. If you care to, you can read it here:
http://paulatohlinecalhoun1951.wordpress.com/2010/11/08/innocence/
Thanks for reading and commenting!
I just read your post on Innocence. I can certainly relate to it. I was also a “goody-goody.” I don’t think I used any swear words until college, and even then, it just wasn’t very natural coming out of my mouth. =) So then I decided *I* don’t need to use it in my language. It was neither effective or believable. LOL. Thank you for sharing your story, Paula.
Very clever and creative. I haven’t one ounce of poem writing capability within me. I’m envious.
For this type of free-verse poetry, it comes more naturally than you might imagine. The skill (and mine is limited) is in choosing your words carefully, and to write good prose, using good line breaks – i.e., breaking your lines at the words you wish to emphasize. I don’t mean to say there is no difference between prose and poetry, but that good examples of both have more in common than not!
I’m glad you liked this. With a few exceptions, it sort of wrote itself.
Gina, I tried to comment on your entry, but for some reason or another it did not “take it!” Here it is, in case it never shows up over there:
Great job, Gina! First of all, thank you for your visit and comment. Most appreciated!
“Now, why should you worry about whether you can write poetry, when you can write so well, concisely, and cleanly (
) as this! I agree with you wholeheartedly about the judicious use of profanity, What I most like about your post is you include not only profanity, but all disrespectful language. Something that I too learned from my parents, and especially my father. I wrote a post about it more than ayear ago, which you can find here if you so desire:
http://paulatohlinecalhoun1951.wordpress.com/2010/11/08/innocence/
Again, good job! BTW, our middle son Adam lives in Chicago now (he’s too far away from us as far as I am concerned!), but he is an upper-level exec with U.S. Cellular. When he flies me up to Chicago for a visit sometime this spring or early summer, I will get in touch with you – we can exchange blog-notes!
”
This was good, Paula. I like the poem, and certainly agree with the message insofar as there do seem to be a lot of contemporary “writers” that think they can substitute quality writing with shocking grit. I don’t know exactly where to draw the line. I know that foul language and crudeness do not make a piece of literature great, but I have seen good literature that contained elements that some would possibly want to take your blue pencil to. I don’t think that means it’s not good. There is plenty of terrible writing out there that doesn’t contain anything offensive, it is just awful in its own right. I appreciate you taking a stand, though, as there does seem to be a general attitude that some stuff is so shocking that it has to be good (or people are too afraid to point out its weaknesses, for fear of being labeled a prude or “book-burner”). Smut is smut, and profanity is no substitute for quality expression. I’m in favor of good writing wherever I can find it, and crude or not, the really good stuff seems to be in increasingly short supply.
I am with you all the way on your comment. Thank you, first of all, for your encouraging words in re the quality. I still have a problem with trimming and editing myself (dare I say using blue pencil on myself?
).
There is some excellent writing out there that certainly includes a great deal of profanity (just as in film and art) that I consider very good indeed – but what there is of it is fitting for the character and the situation/s and setting/s. But there is an equal amount, if not more with gratuitous foul language – which is what I most dislike.
Crudity in and of itself is not the problem so much as the gratuitous every other word sort of profanity which drives me crazy, and shows an incredible lack of vocabulary – especially if the author considers him/herself a writer. I was not allowed to swear, PERIOD, when I was young and as long as I was living with my parents. We could not even say “darn!” My father insisted that swearing is a lack of vocabulary, and if we cannot come up with better un-profane words, then we could just keep our mouths shut until we could! Once I left home and went to college, I began using quite a bit of foul language – more as a rebellion and a way of establishing myself as an individual. That phase soon passed, however, and I learned to modify my language. Interestingly enough, when I was visiting home, I NEVER made one slip – which goes to prove what was the more ingrained in my personality and/or mind!
Quite frankly, I feel that much of the lack of blue pencil editing is with the poorly written sentence, and lousy syntax. I am not in any way perfect in that department (I am rather “famous” for my run-on sentences, dangling participles, and mixed metaphors! Mainly because I write the way I talk, for the most part as evidenced by this comment). But, as the Supreme Court Judge Potter Stewart said in delivering his dissenting opinion on the matter of Jacobellis v. Ohio, the Constitution protected all obscenity except “hard-core pornography.” Stewart wrote, “I shall not today attempt further to define the kinds of material I understand to be embraced within that shorthand description; and perhaps I could never succeed in intelligibly doing so. But I know it when I see it, and the motion picture involved in this case is not that.” Same with me in re grammar – I might not always write correctly, but when what I read is bad, “I know it when I see it!”
I wrote a post about my parents’ attitude in re language. You can find it here:
http://paulatohlinecalhoun1951.wordpress.com/2010/11/08/innocence/
The debate over profanity could go on forever, I guess. There are many who feel that any “blue-penciling” of profanity is by definition a for of egregious censorship. There are others, like myself, who consider the use of some editing just good taste!
Anyway, thank you for your great and insightful comment!
Reading all the entries to this challenge should be a lot of fun!
huzzah!
Don’t get me started on perversity in print. Freedom of expression has come to mean say anything you want no matter if it is true, no matter who is hurt, no matter how crude, no matter how filthy. Often there is no regard for grammar or syntax. So often it is egocentric. “I can say whatever I want”, walk away and be unaccountable.There seem to be so few filters. It is such a pleasure to find writers who truly use language creatively, intelligently, and who have a rich vocabulary which draws the reader in to use their own imagination and to inspire creativity like you and your blogger friends do.
Appreciatively. Hubs.
I knew this was one that you would especially appreciate!