Image Source Page: http://www.freebee.cz/jine/0/animace/subkat/
(wc 537)
(This Wednesday post appears on Thursday because Sonya has a back problem that is currently being fixed, but its presence has slowed down production. So sorry.)
Is that the most pathetic title cry for sympathy and consolation you have ever read? Pretty sad, I know, but say! I believe that this feeling comes to all of us at one time or another; it’s just that most people have the good taste not to display it for the world. Unfortunately, my willingness to do it is a part of my (perhaps overly) dramatic personality.
One of the paradoxes of depression is that my life is really good. It’s just that I’m wearing the wrong eyeglasses, and so I am unable at present to see it for what it is. Finding the right glasses requires a great deal of work. It’s not work I am unwilling to do, necessarily, but it is work that takes energy that I don’t feel that I have now. Of course, part of this all is my seemingly perpetual lack of sleep – or at least sleep of any quality that provides true rest.
Last week on my regular visit to my doctor, we found the solution to the sleep problem. Taking it at the higher dose does get me up to four hours of uninterrupted sleep – amazing! – and I was extremely optimistic. The unfortunate side effect is that I am a zombie for the rest of the day, and a crying one at that. Believe me, my Gentle Readers, until you have seen and listened to a zombie cry incessantly over the slightest things – like a commercial on TV that features a sweet baby or a cute puppy or kitten, or a nice grandmother baking cookies for her family, or even, say an ad for the new Chevy Volt – whatever – I’ll burst into tears. Makes me pretty hard to live with; therefore with this woeful post comes a request:
Will you sometimes during the days of the coming weeks, give my Hubs a standing ovation for putting up with his mess of a wife? A little applause and bravos in his direction might go a long way toward avoiding any collateral damage in my current bout with whateveritisitis that is trying to hang on to me. I know that it will pass. It always does – why should my blessings stop coming at this stage in the game of my life?
God has seen fit to bless me with the abundance of joy by putting around me the people who stimulate me to choose happiness and reveal the joy within. So despite my red eyes, running nose, and incessant tears – and, God help me – a woeful Wednesday disposition, I will leave you with some photos here (they will also appear on my photo blog later this week – you get a sneak preview here today!) that God saw fit to help me with today. God also saw fit to send me out with Princess, who saw fit to prevent me from getting any really good shots of the beautiful azure butterfly, but nevertheless they brought some happiness to my day, that this tiny butterfly decided to stop for a brief moment and pose upon some blackberry leaves for me:
My Gentle Readers, I wish you all enough. . .
Absolutely beautiful post!
Anne
Such a beautiful soft gently looking butterfly. Butterflys amaze me to no end. Thanks for the beauty today. Hugs.
Yes, we may know (and to some extent, understand) the cause of our tears and lethargies–depression, at any level, is so debilitating–but sometimes it takes awhile (and love, understanding, maybe meds) to get ‘hold of the bootstraps and pull ourselves out. Talking about it with others does help (if nothing else it helps you realize that many others ride in the same boat and understand) so share away.
These photos are breathtaking, Paula; much prettier than those I found of this species at Wikipedia. I have never seen a blue butterfly, yet they evidently are not uncommon. I suspect I must learn to look more closely.
I am not certain if this particular butterfly is a Spring Azure, a Summer Azure, or an Eastern Tailed Blue. They all have similarities, but the Eastern Tailed blue – which I got a much better photo of last year (I’ll put it up on my photo blog soon) – is considerably larger than this little guy (only about 1/2″ across), which makes me think it is a Spring Azure. When they fly they all look like powder-blue butterflies all over. It’s only when they “light” somewhere that you see that they are snow white on the outside, and if you are fortunate enough to see them open their wings, you see the gorgeous azure blue. They are without a doubt – to me, anyway – one of the most beautiful b’flies on earth. They tend to be closed-winged when at rest, so it’s rare to get a photo of the upper side of their wings. These photos are “poor” because Princess did not give me the oportunity to stop and adjust my settings so I could get better focus, but when I can get any photo of a blue, I generally put them up – they are hard to get! I love their black/white candy striped legs and feelers, too!
Glad you enjoyed them. And yes, they are quite common around here – blackberry leaves are their favorite places, and we have lots here.
You give me too much credit. I just wish I could lift that heavy cloud that weighs down upon you. The depression I suffer is mild in comparison. It does help me to understand what is going on with you. Who could look at these photos and not experience a lift of spirits? Breathtaking. Thanks be to God.
Hubs
I have certainly had enough this week, Paula! Of humans.
Truly wonderful photos of yours here. Brilliant.
Paula, you continue to amaze me. And I’m sure Ashley has the right pair of glasses to see your love for him.
I’ve lived with depression that has no reason to invade my life. Lived with it for years. I sometimes blame it on being a writer but being a writer is one of the things that has saved me. That and my faith in God. And my wonderful wife!
I’ve often wanted to express what you’ve said but something is always in my way and stops me. Perhaps it is time. Thank you, Paula!
Ahhh, I know the feeling all too well. Thankfully, I am not there any more. So yes, this too shall pass. But it doesn’t help all that much in the midst of the need to cry and wallow. However, those gorgeous blue inner wings make your heart soar with delight! Wow! Thank you soo much for sharing them!
I hope you get some sleep. It is one of the most precious things in life!