Years ago, my brother Dick and I used to love to read Mad Magazine. One of the favorite sections to read was the cartoons by Don Martin. He had a very creative imagination and always came up with things that tickled my funny bone like no other cartoonist could. (Up until Gary Larson and “The Far Side” came along, that is, but they are almost equal in talent!) For instance, in one issue he had a page of cartoons entitled “You know you’ve gained weight when. . .” My favorite of those is one that shows a very large person stepping into a bathtub with about 1″ of water in it. After he gets in, the bathtub overflows! and the sentence completion is . . .”it doesn’t take as much water to fill the tub a it used to!” He also did a very visual cartoon as an issue’s end-page, called “One Day at a Short-Order Restaurant.” A waiter walks up to the cook’s window and puts in his order: “Cold pig on a green sea, dust the roof and no pom-pom.” Without even looking up, his hands blurring with speed, the cook assembles the sandwich, hands it to the waiter, and confirms that it is a “cold pig on a green sea, dust the roof and no pom-pom.” Next at the window is a man, obviously not a waiter or employee, who, with a worried and urgent look on his face says: “Where’s the bathroom Mac, hurry up and no foolin’!” Again without looking up, the cook assembles a sandwich rapidly, looks up at the man and hands him the sandwich while confirming his order of “where’s the bathroom Mac, hurry up and no foolin’!” Still makes me LOL just remembering. Following are a couple of Wikipedia examples from their article on the great Don Martin (1931-2000):
“Although Martin’s contributions invariably featured outrageous events and sometimes outright violations of the laws of space-time, his strips typically had unassuming generic titles such as “A Quiet Day in the Park” or “One Afternoon at the Beach”. In one four-panel gag, titled “One Night in the Miami Bus Terminal,” a man approaches a machine labeled “Change,” inserts a dollar bill, and the machine changes him into a woman. In another gag, a man is flattened by a steamroller but is saved by the timely intervention of a concerned passerby, who folds him into a paper airplane and throws him towards the nearest hospital.”
Lately, while passing by a mirror or reflective window, I have often taken pause, asking “Who is that old woman?” I don’t know why this would take me by surprise, but I have recently found myself asking that question a great deal and I really don’t recognize that woman, until I stop and stare at the (cloudy, to these older eyes) reflection! My husband’s favorite remark along those lines, when he sees his own reflection, is “Dad?” So, I figure that these sorts of questions are a sign that you know you are getting older . . .
There are others. Such as: You know you are getting older when . . . the hairs on your chin start to outnumber the ones on your husband’s head and face; or . . .you need your glasses in order to repair your glasses; or . . .you have to lean completely forward in order to get your breasts into your bra cups; or. . .you start referring to your Dr. as “Sonny;” or . . .no matter how long or short your walk to the bathroom is, the mere act of walking toward it causes an “accident!” I’m willing to bet some of you have your own examples, and I invite you to please post them as comments here…we can always use a good laugh – especially upon recognizing ourselves in other peoples’ observations.
I must add one last example on my part, to let you know one of the great things about getting older (in addition to my mother’s comment which was always “It sure beats the alternative!”) and that is:
You know you’re getting older when . . .you treasure your life more and more every day!
Looking forward to your own observations on aging! From this very cloudy mirror (getting cloudier everyday it seems!) to you, my Gentle Reader,
I wish you enough. . .