Tags

, , ,

. . .you can always find someone who really is, (and I don’t mean Forrest Gump, who is light years ahead of these folks!).

The following list is for all you folks who think that computers were invented for the sole purpose of making us feel stupid.  (Whenever my mom felt stupid, she would lean over an imaginary cane and say, “You think I’m stupid?  You should see my mother!  She walks like this. . .”  If you don’t get this joke, just think of it visually.  It’ll come to you.  If not, let me know. . .)

TECH SUPPORT


Tech Support: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one.

And mine’s black.  Next question.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
.
Customer:Hi, this is Celine. I can’t get my DVD
out !!!

Tech Support: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, I’m sure it’s really stuck.
Tech Support: That doesn’t sound good; I’ll make a note.
Customer: No, wait a minute, I hadn’t inserted it yet.
It’s still on my desk . . . sorry. Thank you.

I hate to admit this, but I have done this before.  However, I managed to figure it out before I called anybody.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
.
Tech Support: Click on the ‘MY COMPUTER’ icon on the
left of the screen.

Customer: Your left or my left?

I’m OK on this one.  Now if he had said “East” or “West” side, all bets are off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tech Support: Hello. How may I help you?
Male Customer: Hi . .. . I can’t print.
Tech Support: Would you click on ‘START’ for me and . . .
Customer: Listen pal; don’t start getting technical on
me. I’m not Bill Gates!!!

Yes, but this is the same guy who taught us that in order to turn the computer off, you have to press “start.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tech Support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah . . . . . . . . . . thank you.

What gets me is that the Tech Support knew to ask that question!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tech Support: What’s on your monitor now, ma’am?
Customer: A teddy bear that my boyfriend bought for
me at the 7-11 store.

And it’s wearing a tee-shirt that says, “I’m with stupid.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech Support: Are you sure your keyboard is plugged
into the computer?

Customer: No. I can’t get behind the computer.
Tech Support: Pick up your keyboard and take ten
steps backwards.

Customer: Okay.
Tech Support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes.
Tech Support: That means the keyboard is not plugged
in.

Customer: Wait a moment please. . . . . . . Ah, now it does work.
Thanks.

S/He just needed a little guidance.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tech Support: Your password is the small letter ‘a’ as in
apple, a capital letter ‘V’ as in Victor, and the number ‘7’.

Customer: Is that ‘7’ in capital letters?

Wow!  That’s a long password.  Wonder if I’ll be able to remember it:  “thesmallletteraasinappleacapitallettervasinvictorand the numberseven”  or is that SEVEN?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Customer: I can’t get on the internet.
Tech Support:Are you absolutely sure you used the
correct password?

Customer: Yes, I’m sure. I saw my coworker do it.
Tech Support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five dots.

That’s what you get for spying.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tech Support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech Support: That’s not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry . . . Internet Explorer.

Of course, that’s not an anti-virus program.  That IS the virus.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tech Support: How may I help you?
Customer: I’m writing my first email.
Tech Support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter ‘a’ in the address,
but how do I get the little circle around it.

Just draw it on..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A woman customer called the Canon help desk because
she had a problem with her printer.
Tech Support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: No, my desk is next to the door, but that
is a good point. The man sitting next to me is by
a window, and his printer is working fine!

Sounds logical to me.………………………………………..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
.
And last, but not least . . .
.
Tech Support: Okay Bob, press the control and escape
keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the
middle of the screen. Now, type the letter ‘P’ to bring
up the Program Manager.

Customer: I don’t have a ‘P’.
Tech Support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean ?
Tech Support: ‘P’ . . . on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I AM NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!!

After reading that one, I can’t say the same!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks go out to my good friend Linda, who forwarded that e-mail to me.  She keeps me well supplied with these inane  viral e-mails, thereby keeping me stocked with tons of post-fodder!

Remember to submit your Blogoversary Contest entries!  (See this for information on the contest.)

Tomorrow I will try to relay the story of my recent trip to the dentist.  Not anything I would want to repeat, but perhaps telling the tale will help me vent. . .

Gentle Readers, I wish you all, as ever, enough. . .

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Book 2 of Suzanne Collins’  trilogy “The Hunger Games,” called “Catching Fire.” Can’t put this one down either, so I give it a high recommendation!  After returning my second “Pandigital Novel” e-reader, I broke down and spent $10 more and purchased the basic “Kindle.”  I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT!!! Worth the extra $10, even though it does not have as many features as the other.  However, the features it does have actually work!

Next time, I’ll give you a brief review of Laura Hillenbrand’s newest narrative history called “Unbroken.”  Truly extraordinary!

Let me know what you’re reading now.  I’m always looking for new books to download!  Next week I start on the “Time Magazine” top 100 list.  I’ll keep you posted!

Advertisements