She is five months old today. She sees her Mom and Dad, or hears their voices, and her face lights up. And when she sees her Mom she says “Mama!” Matt is busy trying to coax a “Daddy!” out of her, but she is playing hard to get on that score. A thrill of pleasure runs through me when I see this young family together. They are all comfortaable with one another, and easily engage in the back and forth duties of parenthood with this lovely little one, this Zoë.
I held her in my arms last night. She gazed up at me with her stormy eyes, a hint of a smile on her lips, and a wrinkle of concentration on her brow. She might not yet know who I am, or my place in her life, but she will learn. I’m smitten with this beautiful child. Her delicate features are blended with the personality of someone who knows exactly what she needs, all serving to make everything she wants seem like reasonable requests. Yes, I held her in my arms, but she had me in the palm of her tiny hand.
I laughed to myself as our children carefully explained to us how to hold this baby, and how to feed her. I remember instructing my parents in much the same manner. Watching from a safe distance, I observed the interplay between husband and wife, mother and daughter, father and child. These moments I would like to preserve in some way, so that I can lift them out of my memory-box whenever they are needed, and experience them all over again as though they were happening in the now.
My heartfelt wish is that I might always be aware of all the perfect moments as they occurr; that they never slip by unnoticed or unnoted; that my memory bank will enlarge to hold all those times, perfectly preserved, each one shining as it did when it came into my life. The memories are all precious – I already have a lifetime of them; the future lies ahead, filled with potential joy; but now! Now, Lord, is what I want most to treasure. I don’t want to ignore the present by spending all my time in recollection nor in anticipation. I want to be able to reflect on yesterday, look forward to tomorrow, and yet be firmly engaged in this gift, this present, now. . .today.
I am most blessed. My life has been filled with enough. . .