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I'm crackers. . .

I'm nuts! In fact. . .

. . .I'm nutty as a fruitcake!

Let’s forget about Friday night, and the next day, Saturday.  Nothing tragic went on with me beyond losing an entire file (and the only one I really needed at the time).  Then I went and made a promise that I am apparently unable to keep in the time promised.  You see, yesterday was a totally weird day for me, consequently – because of my rather large influence on the people around me, the day was weird for all of us.  I’m not sure how I deserved such kindness from those people influenced; and here I am begging for more indulgence.  First of all, to give you a hint to what might be happening to me the last few days, the above few sentences have taken me 20 minutes to write.  Generally, or rather, usually I am able to write five times as much in one-half the time.

Since it happened that the majority of my notes for doing the “Bridges” review were in the same lost cyber-file, I spent a good part of Saturday going through the book once again to find as many highlights and margin-notes as I could, in order to rewrite the first review.  Every time I thought I had finished, I’d find another, and I spent a lot of time trying to put them in some semblance of order.  I was doing that off and on the entire day.  I must have made some progress, because in my mind I still felt I could get the review posted by Sunday night, or at the latest, this morning.  I was delusional.

Yesterday was Pentecost Sunday – the “birthday” of the church.  It is and has always been a wonderful day for Hubs and me.  Plus, this year we were asked by our choir director to sing a duet for the “Call to Worship” at the beginning of the service, which was going to be interpreted by three members of our church’s “Sacred Dancers” group.  Nothing very unusual in this, except we were asked to do this for all three services yesterday morning:  8:20, 9:40, and 11.00 a.m.  We needed to be at the church by 7:50, which means that Hubs wanted to be awake by 6 a.m.  Neither of us need an alarm to sound, mostly because that is around the time we usually awaken.  Just in case, though, Hubs asked me to set my alarm, in case either of our internal clocks’ batteries had run down.

By the time I went to bed Saturday night (Sunday morning?), my eyes could no longer focus, either with my glasses or contacts, or without.  I could barely see my hand in front of my face, so I thought, “Well, I might as well go to bed.”  So I did.  First sign that things might go awry was when Ashley woke me up at 6:30.  That was OK, but I couldn’t figure out why the alarm didn’t go off.  It did – at about 6:45.  When I checked the time for which I had set it, I realized that not only could I not see my hand in front of my face, I apparently could not see the clock’s “alarm hand” either, because I had ended up setting it for 6:45 – completely misjudging the placement of the “alarm hand” on my clock.

We were ready to go in time, and we arrived at the church for a final run-through before the first service.  I need to tell you that my memory for music and lyrics has always been outstanding.  I only have to hear a song or sing through it a couple of times, and I know it by heart.  I didn’t have to train myself to do it, it has just been that way for me for as long as I can remember.  Well, my Gentle Readers, I have yet to sing the song “Come Holy Spirit, Heavenly Dove” with the correct lyrics – even with the music directly in front of me.  It’s not that we didn’t sing it through ourselves multiple times, and then rehearse with the dancers another gazillion times.  It’s just that I sang it differently every time, with whatever lyrics I could make up on the fly as we sang.  I was at least aware enough of the subject matter, that the words I sang were in keeping with the song, and I was even able to make my made-up lyrics rhyme.  That means it could have come off supposedly flawlessly as far as the congregation was concerned, if the lyrics were not posted on the view screen for the congregation to follow along.

I had even enlarged the music/lyrics page for us, so that I could supposedly see the words more clearly.  It didn’t help.  No matter how closely I held the music, or how high we elevated the stand in relation to my eyes, I COULD NOT SEE THE WORDS WELL ENOUGH.  The first service was in my mind a disaster.  But I told myself confidently, next service will be better.  I’ll spend the time in between the services reading the lyrics through several times and get them really committed to memory.  NO PROBLEM!  Well, all I can say is, PROBLEM!  I will say that it was better, somewhat, on my part.  At least, better enough for me to feel confident that the final service would be MUCH better.  Well, not only did I blow it – almost completely – that time, our accompanist – she is also the choir director, and is as close to perfect as anyone could be in her job – also blew one of the key-changes in the accompaniment.  That would not usually have been such a problem – Hubs and I managed to come in on the correct notes, anyway, but I commenced to sing some really bizarre lyrics.  Some of them not even lyrics, just random “oohs” and “aahs” as the “Spirit gave me utterance.”  After all, Paula, it is Pentecost – why not sing in tongues?  I have definitely put that particular song at the bottom of our repertoire file. . .(Hubs, BTW, was perfect every time  😀 .

When we got home yesterday afternoon, I got back in bed, and took my Bridges with me.  I continued perusing and taking notes, and thought to myself, “Yeah, I can get this thing rewritten by 9 or 10 this evening – no problem.  PROBLEM:  after going through the book for a while, I apparently forgot that I had promised that the review was due to “go live” by noon today.  For some reason or another, I never sat down at the computer again – except maybe to read some e-mail – and I’m not sure about that.  I don’t know what happened during the rest of the day.  I might have napped – but it would only have been for about 10 minutes or so.  I would like to blame my mental vacations on the new med I am taking to aid sleep, but because it makes me very off-balance and wobbly on my feet, I did not take it Saturday or last night. So folks, your guess is as good as mine.  What is going on with me – yours truly?

It now seems that the soonest I will finish my review is for tomorrow’s post.  This time I’m making no promises.  There really is no reason why it shouldn’t be ready to go up, but there was no really good reason why it didn’t go up on June 11!  So, please, all of you especially dk LeVick, and Emlyn Chand, forgive me, and accept my additional apologies.  I have gone “crackers.”  Must be Pepper’s fault!  As though I’m not already nuts enough. . .