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Now:  Something I must discuss with all of you, my Gentle Readers. (I think there about six of you in all, down from seven, may that poor dog rest in peace.)  If you detect some self-pity in that comment, you are absolutely right.)  I feel it is necessary to make to you the following request and announcement.

PLEASE SHARE THIS ANNOUNCEMENT WITH YOUR MANY READERS:

FROM NOW ON I WILL NO LONGER SHARE MY SUPERB HUMOR SKILLS, WITHOUT MAKING IT CLEAR FROM THE VERY BEGINNING THAT “TIOOMFP” (PRONOUNCED AS WRITTEN, “tee-OOMF-pah”, for all you phonetics-deprived readers).   THE WIT HAS BEEN FLOWING THROUGH MY BRAIN-HAND-KEYBOARD-SCREEN-CONNECTION FOR SOME DAYS NOW, MY SERIOUS DAYS.  I USED TO GET ALL SORTS OF “YOU ARE SOOOO FUNNY, LOL, ROFLMBO, OR AMONG THE LESS POLITE OF YOU, THE OCCASIONAL ROFLMAO.  MY POST CONCERNING MY “EXISTENTIAL ANGST” RECEIVED ONLY ONE COMMENT THAT REFERRED  TO THE FACT THAT IT MIGHT BE HUMOROUS IN HIS OWN ESTIMATION.  I DON’T KNOW ABOUT YOU (ACTUALLY, NOW I DO), BUT I WAS LMHO WHILE WRITING IT. 

SINCE YOU HAVE ALL TURNED OFF YOUR FUNNY BUTTONS, IT APPEARS THAT I MUST TURN IT ON FOR YOU IN ADVANCE.  I MEAN, REALLY NOW – MUST I ALWAYS USE THE UBIQUITOUS    :mrgreen:  😉 or 😳 TO GET MY FABULOUS WIT  ACROSS?

I HAVE ARRIVED AT THE CONCLUSION THAT MY VOCABULARY IS FAR TOO DIFFICULT FOR YOU ALL – ALL THOSE LAWYERS (WHO CAN SPOUT MORE OBSCURE LEGALESE THAN THE ENTIRE REST OF THE PLANET), DOCTORS, AND COLLEGE-EDUCATED INDIAN CHIEFS – I USED TO THINK MORE HIGHLY OF YOUR ABILITY TO DISCERN HUMOR FROM THE UNFUNNY STUFF (TO USE AN IMPROPER WORD YOU ALL CAN UNDERSTAND) THAT I WRITE.

IT’S A CONSPIRACY.  YOU HAVE ALL GOTTEN TOGETHER TO REFUSE TO LAUGH AT ANYTHING I SAY.  WHERE ARE MEL GIBSON AND JULIA ROBERTS AND PATRICK STEWART WHEN YOU NEED THEM? (IF YOU DON’T GET THAT REFERENCE, THEN JUST STOP READING NOW, BECAUSE I PITY YOU – TRULY PITY YOU.)

NOTE:  TIOOMFAWL (pronounced – again for you phonetically deprived souls – like it looks:  tee-OOMF-all.)  I AM NOW OFF TO BUY A USED COPY OF CATCHER IN THE WRY.

SINCE I SEEM TO BE THE ONLY ONE WITH A DRY, WRY, AND ERUDITE SENSE OF HUMOR, COMBINED WITH THE SUPREME WIT OF A TRUE ARTIST, I WILL IN FUTURE “DUMB DOWN” ALL OF MY POSTS.

I KNOW I SOUND HARSH, BUT IF THAT’S THE WAY IT’S GOTTA BE, THAT’S THE WAY IT’S GONNA BE.

Now, was that clear enough. . . ?

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