I stumbled upon this little article as I was on a brief surf through the mighty blog-ocean. You know that ocean, don’t you? It’s called the Pedantic, and it covers more of the earth’s surface than any other. Some of its water is potable, however, and so I present to you an article (with my own annotations in red) to perhaps satisfy your thirst to know:
What Does My Dog’s Breed Say
By Dr. Justine Lee, PetMD
In my book, “It’s a Dog’s Life. . .But Your Carpet,” I admit, I
make some pretty huge generalizations about breeds and pet owners.
Granted, they’re my own opinions, but if you really want to know
what your veterinarian thinks of you when you walk in the door with
your breed of dog, then read on! I just knew she would close this article with “Mutt,” or at least “Cross-Breed.” I didn’t discover until the end that she did not, so I was left to re-read the article and consider myself with each breed and whether one would fit in with my personality. Perhaps if you crossed these together, but – see what you think!
Dedicated, outdoorsy, loyal, and generally a good person to be
around. Shops at REI. Drives a Subaru. While I have often fancied myself owning one of these beautiful and friendly dogs, I’ve now discovered why I don’t. I am neither outdoorsy, nor a particularly good person to be around (Ask Hubs!). Besides, we can’t afford a Subaru.
May bite. The dog, too. Well, I have been known to bite with my brand of sarcasm, but I have never been known to be a threat to a veterinarian. And I don’t want a dog who would bite one, either. Can’t afford the law suits.
Kind, mild-mannered. Has neurotic tendencies. Gentle. Laid back.
Drinks bottled water. Often looks like the dog. I almost got sucked in on this one. I might not always be kind, but I am generally mild-mannered. Definite neurotic tendencies. I can be gentle (really!), and get me on enough medication and I am quite laid back. I have been known to drink bottled water – especially if the bottle is being recycled, but I prefer tap water (we have a great well!). But, here’s where I had to move on. “Often looks like the dog.” Unless I was able to lay my hands on a very over-weight greyhound with a muffin-top and cankles, I could not be a greyhound owner.
Usually owned by a sweet, old, white-haired person. Sweet, old, and white-haired. Sweet? Depends on what I want someone to give me. Old? Say! I am moving in that direction, anyway. White-haired? Nope! Not anymore, and my hairdresser (and everybody else) knows all about it – for sure!
Potential to be a loyal, family oriented person. Can be snarky, and
have an East-Coast attitude. I almost stopped right here! But, unfortunately, we moved away from the East-Coast some years ago, and are now mountain dwellers. ‘Nuf said. (In other words, about the rest of that description – “don’t go there!”)
Family oriented and generally a good person to be around. Has two or
three human babies. Here we go again. . .The good person to be around part nixes me every time. What is it about retrievers? At least now I know why our Princess runs after the stuff we throw for her, but she never brings it back. We did have three babies – but they alas, have flown the coop. One of those (former) babies has offered recompense by giving us a lovely new nestling.
Family oriented. Owned by older adults. Shops at L.L. Bean and
Land’s End. Drives a Volvo. We get in rough territory here again. I mean, ADULTS? Oh well, nix that. I might LIKE to shop at L.L. Bean, and at Land’s End, but I don’t (being a discount chain-store shopper), without a gift certificate, that is; and, just as with the Subaru, we can’t afford a Volvo – even though we might want to. That breed’s a bust for me, all the way around.
Likes to carry a YSL or Gucci purse, often with their pet in it.
Enjoys the high life. Drinks wine, not beer. I can barely carry a purse with all the other stuff I have in it, much less one including a wiggly, yippy dog! I have no interest whatsoever in carrying a YSL or Gucci purse anyway. I don’t like to carry purses at all! The only thing that speaks to me here is “Drinks wine, not beer.” Absolutely! Can’t stand the taste of
horse piss beer.
Bad ass. Loyal. Protective. Doesn’t want to be screwed with. Well, I almost got in under the wire with this one. If only it had said “Fat ass.” Close, but no cigar.
Either wants to have a child, or
grandchildren. Loves to nurture and carry loved ones in arms. Very
well dressed. Likes pink bows. Putting a pink bow on me would be exactly like the old axiom, “Trying to make a silk purse (which I wouldn’t carry anyway) out of a sow’s ear.” The grandchildren part, though! That made this one very tempting. . .
Family oriented. High tolerance level for baying. “Princess!!! You are not a Beagle! Quit your baying! Quiet!!!!!! Hush!!!!! You are driving me NUTS!!! TWEEEEEEEEEEET!!! (Blows whistle, Princess shuts up briefly.) Phew! (Wipes brow.)” As the preceding made abundantly clear, I have almost zero-tolerance for baying, or continual barking.
I feel compelled to add my breed here, to see how I fit in:
Can seem to be easy to be around, but looks are often deceiving. Shops at discount store, and frequents the area’s Goodwill and Salvation Army thrift stores. Drives the least expensive transportation available, (as long as it’s a car, and requires no pedaling), and a new car to this person would be at least 5 years old with no less than 100,000 miles on the odometer. Likes to show off his/her biting wit and sarcasm, but almost always acts mute when around a more educated professional, and will seldom argue with one, let alone bite. The Mutt-owner tends toward being overweight, or is a least a person who tends to yo-yo in the weight department. Consequently, most pets owned by a Mutt-owner tend to be overweight as well, and are prone to sporting particularly large rear ends. While this person might tend to do a lot of barking and baying his/herself, s/he has no tolerance for it in anyone or anything else.
Well – that about sizes this up for me. I am a definite Mutt owner. I qualify in all categories. Now – one more thing. . .
What, don’t believe me? What do you
think? Does your breed represent you? And yes, I purposely skipped
stereotyping us American pit bull terrier owners. But as a
veterinary student once said to me, “Dr. Lee. . . you look just
like your dog.” Do I look just like my dog? You tell me. Just add some black patches to me, and we are dead ringers!
P.S. I in no way in my annotations attempt to speak for Hubs. He has his own personality-type to measure against Dr. Lee’s observations. . .
Taken from the article on PetMD, a
leading online resource focused solely on the health and well-being
of pets. The site maintains the world’s largest pet health library,
written and approved by a network of trusted veterinarians. PetMD was
founded to inspire pet owners to provide an ever-increasing quality
of life for their pets and to connect pet owners with pet experts and
other animal lovers.
Ok, the word count went over today – but remember, only a bit over half of the words are mine. I think I added just enough. . .