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For the first time in a while (really!) I looked at my stats in order to find how much “Spam” I had received since moving over to WordPress.  (I don’t know how much I got on Blogspot).  While looking for the right place (check your “Akismet Stats” on your Dashboard Menu), I checked out my viewer stats and discovered a rather odd and shocking, eye-opening anomaly.  Now, this might have been fully explained to all bloggers on WP during that time when I was, how shall I put it, “Away,” but am I the only one to have two completely different numbers listed for the total views on my blog?

First up you see the line near the top of the (my) stats page that says, “Page Views – 96” (My numbers are slowly creeping back up, it appears, but still have a way to go.  You can tell all your friends now that I’m baaaaaack! – and in a new, improved and much less wordy way!  Have any of you noticed that?)*

Where was I?  Oh, yeah!  “Page Views – (mine at this moment are 96).”  Now move down on the page a bit and you see on the right hand side the column headed:  “Top Posts and Pages – These posts and pages on your site got the most traffic.”  It then lists the names of the most highly trafficked posts on your blog for that day, in descending order from most viewed to the least.  At the bottom of the list is the number of other posts viewed, without the names, and is listed as “Other Posts.”

Then comes the “Total Views of Posts on your Blog.”  I know – it should say, in my case, “96.”  It doesn’t.  It says “78.”  What happened to those other 18 views?  Did they somehow register on the view-o-meter, yet not register as visiting “viewers” on my blog?  I hasten to add that the numbers used to match.  Very neat and tidy.  Can’t figure it out.  Must be new management. (I don’t remember getting that bulletin either!) ‘Fess up, WordPress!  Get with the program.  No bogus math tampering will be tolerated.

As regards the growing discrimination and anti-zero sentiments within WordPress:

I have come to believe that the disclaimer they use in spelling out how they arrive at daily, monthly, and yearly averages is thinly disguised “numberism”.  Here’s how they explain the way they arrived at their “average” numbers (my comments and clarifications are in red):

“About the math

If you try to verify our computations using the numbers in these tables you ‘might get different results.’ (HAH!) The logic (Logic?  What logic?) is explained here.

  • An average is the sum of views divided by the number of days. (See?  it has begun already!  There is a hoity-toity “sum,” and then there are just plain old everyday, ordinary, run-of-the-mill, John and Jane Q. Public “numbers.”)
  • We exclude days prior to the first recorded view and future days. (Exclude!! See that?? They are admitting to exclusionary practices!!)
  • Today is excluded from averages because it isn’t over yet. (What’s so odious about today?  Isn’t today one of us?)
  • Yearly averages are computed from sums, not an average of monthly averages. (That word again – “sums.”  Makes me shudder just reading it.)
  • Averages are rounded to the nearest integer for display. (Oh, and now they introduce a euphemism for “number” – “INTEGER!”  Like we’re too stupid to figure out what they are talking about!)
  • Gray zeroes are exactly zero. Black zeroes have been rounded down. (So now we finally get down to the heart of it.  Color and rounding down.  For shame.)
  • Percent change is computed from weekly averages before they are rounded.” (And they are trying desperately to extricate themselves from this mess by calling “percents” and “averages” into the picture, as though we don’t know that they are just shills and/or fronts for their own biased organization.)

What is, after all a “gray zero, or a “black zero?”  And how is “Gray” exact when “Black Zeroes” are rounded down?  What, aren’t ALL zeroes round – or at least oval?

Aren’t we all brothers and sisters?  Must there be some sort of prejudice or racism even against the least of these, our brother and sister Zeroes?  Can’t we at least try to see our fellow numbers in the light of equality, or even at least elevate them to 1?  I would be perfectly willing to give up my 4.38297 standing to any Zero out there, but who would want it?  Are there any brave 10’s or 20’s, or even, God bless them, 147’s who would willingly step down from their exalted station and offer it to some poor discriminated against Zero?

Can’t we all live together in peace?

I have drawn up a charter for a new proactive organization called The GABZADAROL  (gab-ZAD-a-rok).  “The Gray And Black Zeroes Anti-Defamation, Anti-Rounding Off Club.”  You may indicate your desire to join me and all my Zero friends in fighting such heinous acts of hatred on the part of WordPress, by leaving your comment in the comment section below.  We must stop this before it spreads to other writing communities, such as “BlogSpot,” “Digg,” “Reddit,” “StumbleUpon,” and even, God forbid, “Twitter!”  It’s a slippery slope my friends.  Let’s join together to put an end to Number Discrimination!

Here is our creed:

I am a ZERO. Hath not a ZERO eyes (well, one anyway)? Hath not a Zero hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions; fed with the same pencil, pen, or printer, hurt with the same erasers, white-outs, or deletes, subject to the same mathematical errors, heal’d by the same math instructors, warm’d and cool’d by the same high school bunsen burners and open windows, as any higher number is? If you prick us, do we not deflate? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? (Well, maybe we don’t die, but we suffer a lot!) And if you wrong us, oh WordPress, do we not revenge?  Yes indeedy, we do!

WE ARE ALL ZEROES!!!!  WE SHALL NOT BE ROUNDED OFF NOR LEFT EXACTLY AS IS!!!  KUM BA YAH!

I intend to make waves.  I hope this first assault on Number Discrimination and WordPress Math is enough. . .

(wc 1068)

*Kindly disregard this post’s word count.  I feel the cause is worth the few extra words.

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