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Today has not moved along as planned, so before it is gone completely, I decided to fill you in on something I have learned.

As of July 1, 2012, my hubs, Ashley Morgan Calhoun, will be elderly.

Perhaps this doesn’t astonish you, but I have to tell you that it was a huge surprise to me!  I mean, I knew I was getting old – but it all depends on whether “old” is a negative term to you or not.  To me, it means many things, and few of them are negative.  The older I get the prouder I am of it.  I mean, as the old saying (no pun intended) goes, “Getting old ain’t for sissies!”  Indeed not.

Anyway, as I was saying, Hubs is (or soon will be) elderly.  “How,” you may ask, “did you discover that?”  I read an article in our little local paper today, “The Mountaineer.”  First of all, I will say that this paper manages to fulfill all the requirements for being a “small hometown paper.” It is rather inept in the editing department, as though it thinks that true mountaineers are dumb and uneducated, and so it has to be as well.  I have seldom seen so many spelling and grammar errors, in each and every issue, in my life – and that includes reading my own posts! (I can’t tell you how many times I have thought of offering to be their copy editor and/or proofreader.  The reason I haven’t is because it would be much more than a full-time job.)

So without further adieu, here is proof positive that Hubs is elderly.  If that is true (and the paper says it is), then I am not far behind. ( BTW, Hubs read this before I did, and when I started to break the news to him he said, “Yeah!  I noticed that too!  I didn’t know I was elderly either!”  “Live and learn, Darlin’.  Live and learn,” I told him.)

Please understand – I have nothing against this couple.  What an awful thing to happen to anybody!  But doesn’t it seem like adding insult to injury to announce to the world – or at least to the readers of The Mountaineer,” that someone is “elderly?”?  The question is, of course, at what age do you qualify for being elderly, and when does it become a newspaper’s prerogative to announce it to the world?  And really now, why does it make a difference – at least in this particular case – whether the victims of such a tragedy are “elderly”?  Was there another couple to which this happened that were alike in every other way and calling this particular couple “elderly” was the only way to distinguish between the two?  For instance:  “Two Couples Lose Homes in Electrical Fire – One Elderly, the Other Not.”

I do run on.  But I think that there could be a better way to describe a couple, without using the word elderly – which has, as most of you know, become a pejorative term in this country.  Perhaps this headline would have been better:

Two Members of Rocking Chair Set Lose Home in Electrical Fire
Feeble, Gray-Haired Couple Loses Home in Electrical Fire
Doddering Fools Lose Home in Electrical Fire

Oh well.  Perhaps instead of Proofreader, I ought to apply for the Features Reporter instead.  What do you think?

That’s all for now. Time to get ready for Monday (aaaaack!  I just finished Sunday!).  I’ve written enough. . .

(wc 548)