It has come around again, that beast –
That time when all our clocks are fleeced.
It was Benjamin Franklin’s evil plan
Foisted upon his fellow man.
“Daylight Saving Time” he called it,
Someone should have cannon-balled it!
Exactly what is being saved?
Are nighttime hours being shaved
From off the clock to add some more
Time for light to my twenty-four?
What a crock! It’s all a ruse
Meant to addle and confuse
The people who think that now they’ll get
Some bonus light before sunset!
But listen, that’s just not the case
Nothing’s changed except the face
Of clocks and watches, moved ahead
To force me to get out of bed,
And wake me up before the dawn,
And keep my sleep bank overdrawn!
The number of hours we have of light
In each day can’t be changed despite
The tinkering of chronometricians
Bowing to those politicians
Who think that come election day
The voters who see things their way
Will flock to stuff the ballot box
In droves, because they’ve changed the clocks.
There are even those who think
We’ll have less crime, less time to drink
Just by springing the clocks ahead!
I tell you, they have been misled!
The sun has always paid no mind –
It springs not forward, nor falls behind.
I plead with all the powers that be:
Please, oh please! Have mercy on me!
Those who think they can outsmart time
By changing each day’s end and start time –
The only difference you’ve made
With this ridiculous clock charade
Is that I’m exhausted every spring,
And long for fall to come and bring
Back standard time, so I can keep
My schedule for “awake” and “sleep.”
I made, again, my case in rhyme –
To keep the clocks in Standard Time.
I’d like to think I’ve changed the way,
(Now that I have had my say,)
That time is kept, and clocks are set. It
Is likely futile, and I should forget it.
But I won’t.
Oh well. I’m off to bed to lie awake a few more hours. I wish you all enough. . .