(This Wednesday post appears on Thursday because Sonya has a back problem that is currently being fixed, but its presence has slowed down production. So sorry.)
Is that the most pathetic title cry for sympathy and consolation you have ever read? Pretty sad, I know, but say! I believe that this feeling comes to all of us at one time or another; it’s just that most people have the good taste not to display it for the world. Unfortunately, my willingness to do it is a part of my (perhaps overly) dramatic personality.
One of the paradoxes of depression is that my life is really good. It’s just that I’m wearing the wrong eyeglasses, and so I am unable at present to see it for what it is. Finding the right glasses requires a great deal of work. It’s not work I am unwilling to do, necessarily, but it is work that takes energy that I don’t feel that I have now. Of course, part of this all is my seemingly perpetual lack of sleep – or at least sleep of any quality that provides true rest.
Last week on my regular visit to my doctor, we found the solution to the sleep problem. Taking it at the higher dose does get me up to four hours of uninterrupted sleep – amazing! – and I was extremely optimistic. The unfortunate side effect is that I am a zombie for the rest of the day, and a crying one at that. Believe me, my Gentle Readers, until you have seen and listened to a zombie cry incessantly over the slightest things – like a commercial on TV that features a sweet baby or a cute puppy or kitten, or a nice grandmother baking cookies for her family, or even, say an ad for the new Chevy Volt – whatever – I’ll burst into tears. Makes me pretty hard to live with; therefore with this woeful post comes a request:
Will you sometimes during the days of the coming weeks, give my Hubs a standing ovation for putting up with his mess of a wife? A little applause and bravos in his direction might go a long way toward avoiding any collateral damage in my current bout with whateveritisitis that is trying to hang on to me. I know that it will pass. It always does – why should my blessings stop coming at this stage in the game of my life?
God has seen fit to bless me with the abundance of joy by putting around me the people who stimulate me to choose happiness and reveal the joy within. So despite my red eyes, running nose, and incessant tears – and, God help me – a woeful Wednesday disposition, I will leave you with some photos here (they will also appear on my photo blog later this week – you get a sneak preview here today!) that God saw fit to help me with today. God also saw fit to send me out with Princess, who saw fit to prevent me from getting any really good shots of the beautiful azure butterfly, but nevertheless they brought some happiness to my day, that this tiny butterfly decided to stop for a brief moment and pose upon some blackberry leaves for me:
My Gentle Readers, I wish you all enough. . .