I Was Stopped on the Interstate for Speeding
I’m in a great hurry, see? My feet are bare!
I gassed up the car, what I had wouldn’t last
the number of miles to the hospital, where
I am to give birth, I have to drive fast!
Officer, please let me go now, I beg you!
Just hand me the warning or ticket –
My water just broke, there’s no time to argue –
If not, you know where you can stick it!
Have you studied obstetrics or had a refresher
On facilitating smooth deliveries?
If not, get in gear! I’m feeling the pressure
To push, so you drive me now, please!
I’m OK – this is not my first time to give birth
Far from it – this one makes nine!
My husband wanted a baseball teams’ worth
Of children, which by me is fine.
So this will be my final act of deliverance
I need not go through this again.
And what’s more, I’ve got the sonogram’s evidence
This labor’s for two – Player nine and his twin!
Writing this one was a long hard labor. I can’t say that I got twin poems out of the work, but at least I got this cute little one. That’s enough. . .