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“Consider the rabbit holes and how they are dug. . .”

Sidey’s weekend theme (Hurray for Sidey’s return – although I’m late in my joy, it remains still!) is Down the Rabbit Hole. Sorry, Sidey, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized I couldn’t just go down that hole. . .I have true hopes of exiting it one day soon!

My rabbit hole appeared about a year or so ago. . .it involved falling, time and time again.  I would not get dizzy, or feel like I was going to fall, I would just find myself – quite conscious – on the floor or the ground.  If I was lucky enough to be walking by a wall, I was able to catch myself before I hit the ground.  I simply, day by day lost my balance, more and more, and because of it I have been confined to a wheelchair (motorized – at least it will be when it’s delivered.  In the meantime, I rely on Ashley to push me around in a transport chair.  Can’t wheel myself because neither of my hands/arms works well enough.) As my docs have said, “It’s not that you CAN’T walk, it’s just that you SHOULDN’T walk.

The most frustrating part of all of this is my total dependence on other people.  I have always treasured my independence, my chances to hop in the car and just drive around and shop to my heart’s content without having to worry about another person’s schedule.  It’s a good discipline to learn, I suppose, so I’m trying to fight it, but I still do get a “bit” ticked off at times.

I tend, 99% of the time to fall to my left. (I’ve fallen about 300 or more times in the past year. – A recent diagnosis of osteoporosis has not made my Drs. any more willing to give me any more freedom!)  At the same time I have a drastically low-level of Vitamin D.  It should measure at the very least 30, while mine averages about 6 or 7.  There are some studies that point at Vitamin D deficiency being responsible for a number of things including balance.  However, in spite of the GIHUGIC amounts of Vitamin D I am forced to take, my blood level won’t budge. I have also recently been diagnosed with Diabetes II – which is really a joke!  After losing all the extra weight I carried over the past few years, NOW, I get it!  At least it is very mild, and manageable by diet, which I do anyway.

I visited my trusty neurologist a couple of  weeks ago and he gave me some news that could quite possibly send me further down that rabbit hole.  I will be having two MRI’s done tomorrow (Friday), which he has ordered to show certain “slices” of my left occipital brain he suspects might be the area of my problem.  It is in the same area where I had a stroke back in 2005, but it is not necessarily connected.  There is a sort of vascular thing that could be going on, which, if in the right place in the brain can be surgically resolved.  Otherwise – to avoid a complete filling of the rabbit hole and a concrete lid added, surgery can be too risky, and I will have to be on some high-powered anti-stroke drugs.  Of course I would prefer the drugs.  Along with the balance problem has been increased tinnitus, and a sort of vascular “whooshing” sound that matches my heartbeat.  Weird.  It is possible that all of this could have been exacerbated by the car accident last September, but since the “condition” started before the accident, it will be hard to prove.  Ashley, however, has suffered a permanent hearing loss in his left ear because of that accident.  The lawyers are still playing “footsie,” so who knows when it will be all settled?

Oh!  And one more thing! (Who keeps digging that whole deeper?) I must have both cataracts removed this summer.  That’s certainly no big deal, but just another petty annoyance – all of which is getting in the way of me throwing Ashley his 70th birthday party.  He’ll be 70 on July 1, but we’re having the party on June 29.  EVERYBODY IN THE BLOGOSPHERE IS INVITED! – Let me know if you are coming, I’ll give you directions!  It’ll be from 7-9 that evening at our church.

Actually, the fusion of the two end joints of my left thumb went very well.  Since one of the titanium plates that is holding it together has become a tiny problem, after the bones have finished fusing, Dr. Cutting might remove that plate, just below my thumb nail. But that will also be a very minor deal. As you can tell, I have not been in the best of shape over the past few months, which accounts for my absence from blog-land.  I have missed all of you!  If you get the chance, drop me a comment to say hello when I manage a post.  I cannot promise a return comment right away, but I’ll do my best.

This was not the rabbit hole you were referring to, but since earlier this week I promised to write about the medical saga that is me, the title was too tempting not to take the opportunity to get it over with.  I continue to jot notes when my hand allows and Poly sometimes chimes in, so I’m not gone forever – at least for now!

As the title says, I am quite determined to either find a way around this hole, or at least burrow through and out of it!  Everybody send out the good thoughts and prayers.  They have never let me down.  I send out my love to all of you, and will keep you posted – either by myself or through Ashley.  God has always taken such good care of me, I don’t expect her to stop now!

Hope you all find some interesting and fun things in your own rabbit holes!  I’ll get back to you when I can.  Until then, my Gentle Readers, I wish you enough. . .

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