THE LOCKER ROOM PEP TALK YOU DON’T HEAR MUCH ABOUT
The most important thing a player must learn
besides there is no “I” in team,
the key play to master in each twist and turn
in each single phase of each single game;
listen up now, and be present with me
as I share with you this grain of truth –
approach with a level head what I tell you,
I better not see even one glint of laughter
nor hear a guffaw, nor a snort of derision.
Whenever a game is broadcast on TV,
I don’t care how much you are itching down there,
you must resist all temptation to scratch!
I guarantee that at least one camera will zoom in
and focus their lens on your hands, and believe me
the viewers will attach their eyes on each movement
you make, and where it occurs. And wisecracks will
sound from the mouths of the idiots, like,
“What? You checkin’ to find out they’re still there?”
Or some other phrase even dumber than that,
and all of their buddies will hoot and die laughing!
But worse than all that, is that your poor mothers
will be both embarrassed and ashamed, thinking
you have no good manners, and then they’ll all come
and bawl me out, for something you were too stupid
to know or to learn this dumb stuff
that I’ve just been preachin’ about!
I hope Coach said enough. . .