View from the Side’s weekend theme is on “Manners.” Immediately upon reading that word, I was chilled thoroughly by a sudden “blast from the past.” As well as moved to consider behavior I have noticed recently. I remembered a concert given by the music department of our sons’ grade school one year, in particular (although I have consistently been witness to such behavior). There were performances by the choirs and the bands of the school. My husband and I were appalled when we realized that we could barely hear the band, let alone the choir, over the incessant talking and gabbing among the parents in attendance. Up to that point I hd never seen or heard such rudeness – especially in front of children, when we are to be examples of good manners, and simple consideration of one another – even if you don’t like the music! No excuses. Period!
This is becoming more and more the case, however, and I believe it is due, at least in part, to “home theaters.” Watching movies at home via DVD or whatever, allows us to talk as much as we like, (or as much as our partners will allow), because we know we can stop, pause, rewind, or fast forward, and manage somehow to see and hear the entire movie – in some fashion or another. Because we have become so free in our viewing habits, this behavior has spilled over into the public forum as well. And there seems to be nobody, except for a precious few of old fogeys and members of COLA (Crotchety Old Ladies Alliance) to object and/or protest! Some times, depending on who is in attendance, and the movie rating, it is almost impossible to hear or see a movie in a theater over the noise, walking around, and cell-phone ringing and chatting that goes on. Makes me very angry sometimes. I’m one of those COLA members who will turn around or lean over and GLARE at the offender(s). So be it. Doesn’t help, except to make me feel a bit better. It is all basically a complete lack of common courtesy and consideration for those around you.
Therefore, I have penned (typed, spoken to Sonya) this rather rude and crude little ditty to Manners:
Manners
“Manners, be damned!” said the woman by me –
I didn’t know her at all.
I learned later on she was Katie’s mom,
The child in the front row, quite small.
Katie and my son, and the rest of their class
Were singing in concert that night
But throughout the performance this woman blabbed on
Her rudeness, it seemed, out of spite.
Dismayed, we all tried to hear – over her noise
The program the kids worked so hard for.
In vain was the effort, for naught could be heard,
Except this annoying blow-hard, for
Her voice covered the music like so much white noise,
Except her noise was obnoxiously black.
I tried being polite, looked her way and said “Sshhhusssshh!”
She ignored me, so I took another tack.
My hand on her arm, I spoke with a whisper,
“Please, mind your manners, and shut it!
Our children are singing, we’d all like to hear them!
I want to give you a kick in the butt! It
Seems that may be the only way
To get you to hush your big mouth!
No wonder our kids have no manners these days
When their parents’ have all gone south.”
Her mouth closed for a moment, then that’s when she said
“Manners be damned! I don’t care!
It’s my right as a citizen to talk when I want,
Anyway, any time, anywhere!”
Sighing, I got up to vacate the seat
I had chosen with utmost care
To have the best place from which I could hear
And to make sure my child was aware
That I’d come to see him and hear his class sing,
And I wanted him to see I was proud.
I simply could not at all understand
Why this woman was so rude and loud.
But, she gave the rest in attendance there
A lesson in how not to behave.
She gave nothing else that I could tell,
But robbed us of memories to save
Of a time when our children, for all who could hear,
Sang with angelic voices.
So, for families of children who sing in a choir
There really are only two choices:
Come to the concert and quietly sit,
Smile, and respond with clapping.
Or otherwise, stay home to yak all you please,
Spare us and your kids all your yapping!
Children learn by example, this saying is true –
Show them how best to behave.
Or there’ll be just the rude noise of their disrespect,
When your body is laid in its grave.
As far as rude behavior goes, (except for this rather rude poem, that is), haven’t we all had enough?
I was in a production at my school not too long ago, and fortunately my parents were listening, watching and encouraging. My friend wasn’t so lucky. I noticed her parents were just chatting away, not bothering to watch and with a totally bored expression on their faces! After the production, my friend was actually crying… she had the lead part, and she had noticed her terribly rude parents too. She had worked so hard and I thought she deserved a little appreciation. So, being immature like I am, I gave them a few dirty looks as I comforted my friend.
Manners these days. I’m glad my parents did it right!
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My husband once yelled at a bunch of teenagers in the cinema to shut up; and they did. People patted him on the back as they left after the film.
I enjoyed your poem.
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Movie rage us a common condition these days!
Thanks for the visit, Linda!
Oh yes I have seen this so often. It’s so horrible when someone you are with is talking to you. What are you to do? And forget going to the movies, thats a dreadful experience anymore. I end up having movie rage!
Love this Paula. I went to hear Billy Collins do a reading last week and so wanted to tell a boy a couple of rows ahead of me to go get a drink of water or leave as he was coughing away. Being in the thick of performances and the like, I can really relate to this situation. This was my favorite part: To have the best place from which I could hear
And to make sure my child was aware
That I’d come to see him and hear his class sing,
And I wanted him to see I was proud.
Thankm you, Tammy! Few things can be as frustrating as trying to listen to or concentrate on something and not being able to because someone is completely oblivious of others around him/her!
Thanks for coming by!
Pure, unadulterated genius, my friend, and a common understanding on manners in general 🙂
I particularly liked the rhyme ‘shut it’ and ‘butt! It….”
Enjambment has rarely served a poet so well 😀
Thanks for your note this morning. Reposts are go for launch.
Alleluia! On both counts!
A compliment from you is one that I am delighted to take to heart!
And the fact that you are reposting is fantastic news! I can’t wait to start from the beginning with you! Thanks so much!
XOXO Pauka
What a shame!
I once attended a ballet performance and a woman in the seat behind me was painting her nails while she waited for the show to start!
Ffortunately here we still have a degree of manners in most movie houses (or at least the ones I go to) but my one experience in the USA was awful.
The Australians behaved pretty much as we South Africans do, chat before the film, then settle doen to watch and listen.
In Holland, despite there being a nice chap who came and sold you alcoholic drinks, and that people smoked in the movie, everyone was otherwose considerate, whispering to the drinks man.
I find that American audiences – particularly at later evening times to which the more mature movie-goer gpes, that audiences can be and are, generally, very polite and reserved. I have attended others though that I almost left because I could not see or hear. It can be very maddening. Also, depending upon what part of the country you are in, it varies.
I don’t want to imply that all Americans are rude, but many are! There have been some demands of late for “more civility.” I wonder if anything will come of it, since it won’t occur until it starts being taught from the cradle, I believe!
Laughing is definitely OK by me, too – unless a movie character I like – or a pet in the film dies! I want everybody to cry when I’m crying! Misery loves company – it’s cathartic to have a good old fashioned three or four-hankie cry! 😀
This is why I NEVER go to the movies in a a theatre.
I don’t want to listen to people yakking, yapping, chatting, belching, chewing, or making any other audible bodily sound . . . except for LAUGHING. Laughing is okay by me.
Fun poem, PTC!