Tags
Children, Connecticut, God, Horror, loved ones, madness, Newtown, Parents, Religion and Spirituality, tragedy
It is difficult for me to look at any list containing such words as those above, without viewing them through the prism of brokenness of all the lives lost or affected in Newtown, Connecticut this past Friday.
********************
Just last Sunday, I lifted him up
so he could place the star on the top
of the tree;
laughing and scolding him for
taking so much time – “to get it perfect,”
you grinned. “You’re getting heavy!” I sigh.
“Almost too big for me to carry!”
Again and again, pictures of horror
are unfolded before our eyes; we listen to the
talking heads, repeating, repeating, repeating
the tragic words of death, rampage, terror,
the blasts at the end of our street, our world.
“Hurry up, darling!” You’ll be late for school!”
I wipe the milky mustache from her mouth, and
lift her down from her chair. She rushes
from me, hoisting her “Dora the Explorer”
book-bag over her tiny shoulder. “I’ll see you when
you get back home,” I call to her as she waves
good-bye.
With glassy eyes, we watch the scene,
feeling the distance between here and there,
between yesterday and today; trying not
to hold too close to heart the vacant,
unbelieving faces, afraid of coming undone.
Yet longing to be close enough to console,
to hold, to wrap our love around them all.
to lighten the crushing sorrow, the
growing anger and disbelief.
What will I do now? All the toys, wrapped
in haste with slick and shiny paper,
a chore sometimes, amid the pressing tasks,
all the holiday busy-ness.
I’ll just use that Santa bag from last year;
that’s good enough, besides, he won’t even
notice it, as he rips out the tissue to find
“Just what I always wanted!” buried inside.
Good schools, a suburban town –
richer than some, but ordinary enough.
A nice place to live, away from the crowds,
the city. Visible, yet known for the
small-town anonymity, our town, the home
to where we return, escaping from the
annoying bustle of those grasping at
upward mobility, the itch to get ahead.
How could I have ever thought you too heavy?
So light in my arms now. Light enough for
a thousand stars atop a thousand trees.
I see you, but it is not you. You
will not come home again, bounce up
the porch steps, dumping “Dora” at the door.
How could I have been too busy
to do my best? Was I always like that?
Did you know how much you are loved?
Did you know that you were, and will always be
“Just what I always wanted!”
********************
In a season of joy, we find ourselves in the midst of sadness. Some ask, “So, where is God? How does God allow this to happen?” The answer is that God was there with those on the receiving end of madness, and God was there with the one consumed by madness. As sure as there was terror, there was love. And God did not allow such a thing to happen. We did.
It is long past time to say, “enough. . .”
Reflections From a Cloudy Mirror 
So very sad. 😦
We were stricken too, this side of the “pond”, Paula.
What carnage. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
John.
These awful events send shock-waves all around the world. Thanks for the visit!
Magnificent message of love, Paula. Have made a copy so we can read it at our Wednesday. Christian Writers Fellowship. It will be a blessing. Your heart cry will touch our hearts. God bless you dear one.
Thank you, Lucy! I am glad you will be able to use it.
I couldn’t put into words what I felt about the Newtown tragedy. I can’t even read about it anymore. It makes my heart hurt. You just said it all in a beautiful, healing way. Thanks.
My husband and I both had the immediate picture in our mind of our own boys when they were kindergarten age. It shook us to our core, as did our feelings for all the families involved. It was horrible, as all of the similar incidents in our nation have been. We must stop it, by any means possible.
Thank you for visiting and for your sweet comment.
Very effective and affecting poem.
Thank you Pseu! Those words seemed to be chosen (although unaware, I’m sure) for writing and reflecting on the tragic events in Newtown.
Thank you for this beautiful post, Paula. I tried to share it on my Fb but it couldn’t.
Thanks for trying! I think the best way is to copy and paste the URL for that post into your status line. That usually brings up a link to the post.
I have missed reading you, and I will try and get back to my favorite regulars – like you – now that I am NaNoWriMo-free!
That’s how I always do it, but this time to no avail…? I’ll try again in a minute.
Oh dear, I see I did manage it in the end and had forgotten. My memory is still playing tricks on me although it is getting much better…
Tell me your tricks for getting a better memory, and I will apply them to myself immediately! 😆
This is written with such poignancy, grace and sensitivity too – the voice rings with authenticity as well … brought tears to my eyes at a time when I thought I’d about cried them out. Thank you.
I can barely think of the whole thing without tearing up – sometimes even sobbing. The parents and families of those children and the adults. . .it breaks my heart.
Well done and well said. I especially love the way you ended it. It truly is time to find an end to these tragedies.
It is indeed, Julia – way past time! The question is how? I believe with God’s help, and the sublimation of our own desires in favor of acceding to God’s solutions will be the only way. Thank you for the visit and comment!
Said with grace and sensitivity, PTC. It’s a difficult to thing to talk about, but you did so eloquently.
As usual you are too kind – especially for you, Eric! 😆 But in light of the subject matter, I appreciate and accept your eloquence in commenting as well. Thanks so much for visiting and commenting.
I think you put into words what many, many people are feeling right now, especially parents who have lost a child. Beautifully written.
Hubs
Thank you, Hon!
Aunt Paula
You put into words what I have been feeling and thinking. I can not imagine the feeling of helplessness the parents of the children at the school felt that day. We all need to let our family and friends know how much they are loved and mean to us.
Cindy – thank you so much for reading and commenting! It means a great deal. Newtown is not far from where I lived in Connecticut for so many years. It breaks my heart to think of the pain those families are going through. Yes, we need to remember every day to cherish all we have, and all the while offering prayers of comfort for the people both directly and indirectly affected by such madness. Wish we could see all of you!! Any chance of coming up our way? How’s Tommy?